Choosing Wonder

Choosing Wonder IS the easiest choice. Wonder expresses how much you value the feelings of anxiety and how badly you want to heal those feelings. Amber Rae offers some amazing advice in her authentic book, “Choose Wonder over Worry.”

I have read and continue to read this incredible book I found by chance called, “Choose Wonder Over Worry,” by Amber Rae. Let me say, I give this book 10 out of 5 stars because 5 just doesn’t seem like enough.

I have been through a lot in my life and I don’t remember experiencing noteworthy anxiety until I was in my early 20’s. Now, after years of suffering, reading blogs, forums, medical journals, books, anything that would help me understand and overcome this intense fear I had inside, I found this book.

This book was the first thing that truly resonated with me and it’s taken me so long to write this blog because I couldn’t think of the right words to express to everyone of how invaluable this book became in my healing journey.

If you haven’t read the book, click here to buy it. Truly the author, Amber Rae, speaks from experience.

While I read this book, I have become obsessed with highlighting the best parts. When I finished reading, I had highlighted nearly the whole book. Every chapter fulfills the lessons I need in order to be the best me and offer my best self everyday to everyone.

She adds journal posts to the end of almost every chapter called, “Journal Into Wonder.” I am going to write posts journaling my entries so I can find my awesome fellow “wonder writers” who want to share in this healing journey together.

The First Journal Entry

Again, grab the book here if you want to join in this fun series!

“The answers are already within you. You’ll find journal prompts throughout the book to connect you with your inner knowing and voice of truth. Begin with this inquiry:”

What is your relationship like with Worry? With Wonder?

– Amber Rae “Wonder Over Worry”

My Relationship with Worry

I connected with Worry when I was in my early 20’s right after my son was born. I had always had a little cautious voice inside telling me to be careful, make smart choices, and I was not great at listening to it. The worrying really began when I was responsible for another human life with the birth of my first child.

Suddenly the world was more dangerous, the emotional roller coasters were more harmful, and I was all around terrified about how all this would affect the wellbeing of this tiny human that was entrusted to me. I started having anxiety attacks when he was about 6 months old, and soon after, I developed panic attacks and phobias of driving and being alone. My relationship with Worry became a 10+ year quest to balancing my internal fear with the reality and faith of being alive.

My Relationship with Wonder

Wonder was never easy for me to comprehend, even though I have a naturally curious personality. I considered myself to be a logistical person, everything had to make sense in a realistic way.

The concept of wonder is fairly new to me still. Prior to reading this book, I would allow myself to get anxious when I was feeling anxious. Now, I think about the meaning behind the anxiety and try to be patient with myself throughout the observation and consideration of what is going on to cause the anxiety.

I would say wonder has opened my mind to exploring what hides beneath the anxiety, the fear, the phobias to discover how to heal myself.

I encourage you again to grab this book and get involved in this impromptu conversation digging into Wonder and Worry. If you are suffering from Panic attacks or anxiety attacks, I know you will appreciate the work of Amber Rae.

I suspect you’re reading this because there are aspects of yourself that you want to discover and express. I wrote this book to coax that out of you. To show what’s possible when wonder leads the way.

“Choose Wonder Over Worry” by Amber Rae

My Memories.. The Song I Composed For Panic Disorder

So one day while I was having a bad day, I channeled some of my creative energy and created as well as composed my first song ever using the app “Garage Band”. It’s a pretty awesome app and I was able to keep going while I sang and Googled “good notes” to use on the different instruments within the app.  It was a really good experience.  I uploaded the song to SoundCloud and I am working on some Podcasts that will also go to my SoundCloud as well! don’t miss out, subscribe to SoundCloud to keep up with my candid (often vulgar) truth about living with mental illness.

The lyrics “My Memories” by Niki Maria

I lost myself and I can’t get back up
Somebody help me find my luck
I don’t wanna lose my memories
Cause there all I have..

There was a time when I would fill the noise
Everything you could avoid
And I’m not losing me today
Because I love you

Sometimes I want to scream at the top of my lungs
The panic is here with me it’s all I’ve become
Do you know what it feels like to hide inside your own skin
Crawling with venom…

I don’t want to die
I’m gonna keep going
I don’t want to die
I don’t want to die

I don’t want to die
I’m gonna keep going
I don’t want to die
I don’t want to die

It feels like my Life’s not my own
You Keep pushing forward feeling alone
just get yourself back up, you get yourself back up…

I’m not gonna let you bring me down
Panic Attacks are the worst
Anxiety I am cursed….

Just for today
I want you guys to stand up
Fight.
Because this illness, it will take you down if you let it.
Just stand up today
Remember who you are
Don’t let it take your memories.

Let me know what you guys think and feel free to download it if you like it (I made it available for download).  I am working on some new music now and your feedback can help me to make the most productive music.  Try to remember I don’t have the best voice in the world and this recording with done (literally) on my iPad with Garage Band.  Love you all!  Thank you for supporting me in this journey.